if you ever doubt yourself, look at los angeles from 35,000 high. you’ll realize just how important you are.
apologies in advance. this posts lacks direction.
i have realized this time and time again - my need to take breaks from my day-to-day insane life is undeniable, but i never seem to know when i need to get away. i get so caught up in my own day-to-day that i actually become completely incapable of thinking calmly about things - the things i say get skewed and dragged out of context. and i never give myself time to just be peaceful and happy. thankfully, my blood line has this way of pulling the best of me out of the jumbled mess that i tend to become when i spend too much time in LA.
at the core, a family is a group of people who will love one another unconditionally.
i’ve been blessed with all kinds of families.
my mom and dad are unconventional people, but they function as two of the best family members i could ever ask for. the fact that they exist reminds me that there is someone always out there believing in me, always thinking that i can be better if i keep trying. their belief in me is enough of a reason for me to keep trying to be more and to do more. they are the unconditional love that satiates my insecurities. my brother is a little bit MIA these days, but he is the glue that holds my immediate family together. he calms us down and gives us perspective when we’re upset or sad or overly emotional. he understands each person in my family completely, and he makes sure that we’re okay.
my friends are now a family to me - i’m living pretty much on my own these days. that support net of my brother/mother/father is thousands of miles away, so i’ve learned to rely on you friends. some of you have seen how ugly i can get - it can be pretty dark. yet you guys stick around and i’d doubt it’s out of inertia. you all know i’d do anything for you…
and i’ve had to learn to become my own family. there are times when no one is around and i have to rely fully on myself to keep going. i need to start being more gentle with myself - i’d guess that very few of you know the struggles i have on a day-to-day basis. i’m insecure as shit, which i know is ridiculous. but i try to come across very confident and strong, but it really is a forced action. i need to stop doing that and just let myself feel the uncomfortableness of life. ignoring it only holds it back until the flood gates can’t hold it back anymore. and that leads to an inevitable breakdown and temporary paralysis. basically all of my insecurities come out in one swift motion and that’s when my ugly apparent to the world. gotta stop doing that aron, it’s no way to live.
essentially, life isn’t so insane. we’re needy and we’re volatile and we try so hard to be okay and people can break us so easily. so we make families to make us stronger and we love each other and we learn to be okay and everyday becomes less of a struggle and more of a celebration.
this applies to leadership somehow. figure it out, you’re all smart.
i’m only one voice in a million, but you ain’t taking that from me
i’ve rolled this over in my mind ten thousand times today. i’d like to challenge all of my readers to view what, in my perspective, is a healthy level of self-respect.
there is pride and there is arrogance. the difference between the two is not the way one’s self-praise is displayed. the difference between the two is found in the root of the self-praise. arrogance and pride are essentially path-dependent.
pride is found in the realization that once you take all of the superficial masks and molds away, we are still growing, we are still improving, and that we really do love the person we are at the core. it’s not so much about the things we do, but more about the people we are and what we represent. pride has everything to do with what is internal within us.
arrogance is found in the superficial shit. arrogance stems form the superficial love of our ability to captivate others with nothing to back up our self-respect. arrogance is loving oneself because of a job title, simply for possessing the title. Pride is loving oneself because of what that job title means, the realization of that one is living up to that job title.
leaderstars, we work hard. the things that we balance and accomplish would probably be impossible for most people. i am not writing this to boast about how amazing we are. i am writing this because, honestly, the truth of the matter is that it we are a unique example of undying ambition.
we do many things. and personally, i define myself from the belief that we are who we choose to be. so when i talk about how i am amazed with myself for successfully DOING something, it is because i am consciously recognizing that i am pushing the boundaries of my potential - i am growing - i am more than i was yesterday. and i shall grow and grow. my pride comes not simply the fact that i’m doing these things, but from what these things represent to me - progress, optimism, and ultimately, the hope for a better me.
i know a lot of people think i’m arrogant, but i’d challenge you to not look at me in such a shallow manner. my pride in myself is rooted in the self-respect i gain from accomplishing goals that i set for myself, from what accomplishing those goals means.
so yes, my friends, i do believe that i am a staggering individual. but i will not apologize for it because my pride is warranted.
Never let your ambitions die. They are the thing that will consistently force you forward, and one of the few things that will move you to reevaluate your direction.
my life is a consistent shifting of motives. sometimes i chase the world full-force, and then other times i find myself just wanting to slow down. right now, i’m at a point in my life where i’m losing momentum.
this is problematic for me.
i feel an obligation to stay more focused on my goals and aspirations for the future than on the simple joys of the current moment. is there a happy medium? is there a way to chase my ambitions, but also indulge in my immediate wants?
i am aware that regardless of whether i focus on my most immediate wants or my future wants, i will remain happy. but i also know that when given two roads diverged in a wood, whichever one i take will make all the difference. the way i act now will ultimately have an effect 10 years from now.
please leaderstars, reply to this post. give me insight, perspective, a new method of approaching this.
